Lighter Side

Un-Holy Christmas Tales from the Inn at Bethlehem:

Did you hear about the St Michael’s Primary School nativity play? Well…. two children are dressed as Mary and Joseph, and they are on their way to the inn at Bethlehem. Meanwhile on the other side of the stage, a lad in a shepherd’s outfit is on a mobile phone.  He is calling the inn to make a reservation.

Place:  The Middle School nativity play. 
Scene: The Inn at Bethlehem on Christmas Eve.

Joseph: “Do you have any room at the inn?”
Inn Keeper: (Over-playing his role) “Yes, plenty, come on in.”

Joseph: [Jaw drops, speechless]

Footnote: Remember, in the nativity play, the inn keeper is supposed to say “There is no room in the inn”, and this is how the baby Jesus came to be born in a stable.

A Tree for Christmas

Admiring the Christmas trees displayed in his neighbor’s windows, Nathan asks his father, “Daddy, can we have a Hanukkah Tree?”

“What? No, of course not.” says his father.

“Why not?” asks Nathan again.

Bewildered, his father replies, “Well, Nathan, because the last time we had dealings with a lighted bush we spent 40 years in the wilderness.”

And one more for Christmas…

The Board Meeting

“There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the Christmas service,” announced Reverend Morris.

After the close of the service, the group gathered at the back of church for the announced meeting.  However, this Christmas there was a stranger in their midst. He was a visitor who had never attended their church before.

“My friend,” asked Reverend Morris, “did you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?”

“Oh, yes,” came the rejoinder from the visitor, “and after that sermon, I’m about as bored as you can get.”

And, finally, some short ones:

  • Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson because he brought the house down.
  • Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!
  • The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  • Tonight’s sermon: “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our carol practice.
  • Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.