Lighter Side Oct. 2019

A Sunday school teacher once asked the children just before she dismissed them to go church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” Little Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A: He was Ruthless. After having children, Adam and Eve started getting a lot of questions from their kids about why they no longer lived in Eden. Adam has a simple answer for this: “Your mother ate us out of house and home.”

Q: Where was Solomon’s temple located? A: On the side of his head. Duh!

“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.” (George Burns)

Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?” The other boy replied, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your dad.”

Visiting his grandparents, a small boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out. He picked it up and found that it was an old leaf that had been pressed flat between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” he called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.” With astonishment in his voice, the boy answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

The Sunday School teacher was describing that when Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt, when Bobby interrupted. “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced, “and she turned into a telephone pole.”

Another Sunday School teacher said to her children, “We have been learning about how powerful the kings and queens were in Biblical times. But there is a higher power. Who can tell me what it is?” Tommy blurted out, “I know, Aces.”

After explaining the commandment to honor your father and mother, a Sunday School teacher asked her class if there was a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters. One boy, the oldest in his family, immediately answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”

Lot again… A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”