Lighter Side of the Church

Have you ever wondered what the Disciples talked about after the Crucifixion? I have. It may have gone something like this (NOTE: Disciples are all sitting around a meal):   

A Disciple: “I know he was really special, and I miss him terribly. But dead men don’t come back……He’s standing behind me, isn’t he???


Daughter: “I’m having problems with this guy.”

Veteran Dad: “Like his body won’t fit in a duffel bag or you like him problems?”

Daughter: “MOM!”

If Adam and Eve had been Cajuns, they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.       
“When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.   
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.
“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.
“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.
“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.
“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.
“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.
“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.
“Pew,” Charlie retorted.
“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”

The Army of the Lord: A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.” Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”

He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”