Lighter Side
The Picnic
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic
Priest met at the town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
“This baked ham is really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi
“You really ought to try it. I know
it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food
should be forbidden! You don’t know what
you’re missing. You just haven’t lived
until you’ve tried Mrs. Hall’s prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break
down and try it?”
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, “At your
wedding.”
The Usher
An elderly woman walked into
the local country church. The friendly
usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.
“The front row, please,” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”
“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No,” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
“Good,” he answered.
Show and Tell
A kindergarten teacher gave her
class a “show and tell” assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an
object that represented their religion to share with the class.
The first student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is
Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.”
The second student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is
Mary. I’m a Catholic and this is a
Rosary.”
The third student got in up front of the class and said, “My name is
Tommy. I am Lutheran and this is a
casserole.”
The Best Way To Pray
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby
“Kneeling is definitely
the best way to pray,” the priest said.
“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with
my hands outstretched to Heaven.”
“You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayer
position is lying down on the floor.”
The repairman could contain himself no longer. “Hey, fellas,” he
interrupted. “The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside
down from a telephone pole.”
Goat for Dinner
The young couple invited their
elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While
they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what
they were having.
“Goat,” the little boy replied.
“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure
about that?”
“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say to Mom, ‘Today is
just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.’ “
“Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth – Amen.”