Please Take Note…

I was reading one of Marshall Day’s editorials in the Gatesville Messenger recently and he provided some interesting church humor through a few quickie stories about children and religion and churches.  With permission I am providing them for your perusal.


One went like this:


Little 6-year-old Angie and her 4-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.  Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.  Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”  “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel challenged as only a 4-year-old can.  Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door?  They’re hushers.”


And here are some more “Churchers”:


One little 4-year-old prayed thusly: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”


A 10-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.  Then one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus?  The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”


A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  They were ready to discuss the last one, so the teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.  Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”


Then there was the one about the young child “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.  Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.  Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called out “Pray for me! Pray for me!”


And my favorite: A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on their way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”  To which one little bright girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”