Seen on a Church Bulletin Outside the Pastor’s Office

It has come to our attention that the pastor you received was shipped with a slight defect – he is not psychic. Because of this must observe certain procedures to ensure optimum performance.

• It is necessary to inform him of any members who are hospitalized.
• If someone you know is in need of prayer, the pastor must be told, or he won’t know (remember he has this defect).
• If you are in need of a pastoral visit, you will get best results if you ask him.

We regret any inconvenience this may cause.

Signed,

God